Transcript |
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This transcript is best used as referrence for when you cant understand
part of the strip (Either due to contents or handwriting)
Part 1: Cover:
TOP RIGHT;
This comic is owned by ___________ And if you steal it you’re
going straight
to hamster hell!
TOP LEFT:
In the beginning there was a sad, sad little kid with no friends… But then
he wrote a comic and got lots of non-loyal friends. Sadly this child was run
over
But his insane rival, Pom was not.
POM SPEECH BUBBLE;
This is a limited edition front cover and you own it, lucky you!
BOTTOM LEFT (Pirate copy);
Warning! This is a pirate copy. Which means that Pom was wearing a pirate hat
and waving a skull and crossbones when he drew it. Any mistakes are therefore
his fault and he will be held liable.
POM AND THE MILLIONS SONG;
“He just can’t handle it
So instead he’ll scandal it!”
SIDE NOTE;
If you thought THAT was cheap, read the comic!
Part 2:
POM: Only one left…
(Pom is looking at a Million, a small chewy candy)
POM: It’s time to join the Purply Blue side! (And have a thin
head)
[Note: this panel originally drawn in blue pen]
POM: Where are the Millions?
POM: Oh yeah, he can help me
[T-shirt reads: “Too-tall-for-own-good-scum”. Below that is illegible.]
POM: hey, Claude!
CLAUDE: God Damn midget…
[T-shirt Reads; “Shifty, scary artisty type”]
CLAUDE: Listen midget, When you need to get millions from a super scandal,
you consult your local dealer…”
POM: “Ohhhh, who’s that?”
CLAUDE: “The one spoken of old… In precisely 2 panels.”
POM: “Who’s that and why has my head grown at a horrifying weight.”
CLAUDE: “It’s called a Zoom-in, Kid”
CLAUDE: “He is one of a fearful sort… The one known as CRY-AN!”
CAPTION: To be continued when Pom can be bothered.
Part 3:
BIIIIIG CAPTION: Pom and Claude are attempting to hook up a super Scandal
to appease Pom’s hunger for millions and get Pom away from
Claude so Claude can draw more really great Pictures…
POM: Panel… Too small…
CLAUDE: Shut up.
CLAUDE: oh my GOD! Robbie’s here! Now we’ll have to see
CRY-AN next strip!
POM: And get a haircut!
CLAUDE: Shut up.
CLAUDE: Run! Before the eternal battle between good and Claude begins.
ROBBIE: I don’t really endorse smoking, Kids; I just look cool
this way. (Meet me in cigg bar to find them cheap)
CLAUDE: Stop stealing my panel Phat-ass.
ROBBIE: It’s Phat-BOY! Stupid arsehole…
CLAUDE: Hah! You got your head hidden behind the title! I rule this
panel!
ROBBIE: HaHa! I rule this panel though!
CAPTION: Meanwhile… (Pom dashing)
(Pom smacks into Wise Old Sage)
POM: Come One and Two, to be part in the ULTIMATE millions scandal!
[T-shirts read; “Wise old sage” and “Not so wise
old sage”]
CAPTION: Meanwhile…
CLAUDE: YOU… SHALL… NOT… PASS!
(The ground collapses beneath Claude and Robbie, they plummet)
CLAUDE: What The?! Goddamn builders!
ROBBIE: Hey, My ciggy!
CLAUDE (off panel): Fly, fools!
(Pom sprouts wings)
POM: Okay!
WISE AND NOT SO WISE OLD SAGES: Don’t fly so high, Pom!
[Note: Here, Pom is alluding to the legend of Icarus, Look it up.]
Page 4:
POM: Ahhh…
POM: A Pigeon!
POM: Here sweet little Pidgey Poo!
WISE OLD SAGE: I had no idea he could sink so low…
NOT SO W.O.S.: Yeah…
WISE OLD SAGE: There’s only one thing left to do!
NOT SO W.O.S.: Yeah…
W.O.S.: Do A Catch the pigeon rip off!
N.S.W.O.S.: Yeah…
MUSIC: Catch The Pigeon Theme (Catch the pigeon, catch the pigeon)
W.O.S.: Why are we falling? And why’s there music up here? And
why are we up here if that pigeon can’t fly!
(The sages throw a stereo out of their plane)
N.S.W.O.S.: *muttley laugh*
W.O.S.: That was stupid, bringing the Stereo!
(They Crash) BOOM!
POM: I’m da king of da Pigeon!
W.O.S: JACOB!
N.S.W.O.S.: *Muttley laugh*
[Note: N.S.W.O.S.’s name is Jacob]
PIGEON(choking): Gack Gack!
POM: Oh, My! Is that CRY-AN?!
POM: C’mon Pidgey Poo.
CAPTION: Continued…
Part 5:
CAPTION: In the toilets
ROBBIE: I am new…I am powerful… I have gained knowledge
of the school piping system
CAPTION: In the Playground
CLAUDE(In gorge): Urk…
(Claude reaches top of gorge and lifts himself out)
CAPTION: As he reaches the top, and amazing transformation
occurs.
CLAUDE: I have returned, youthful insanity,
as Claude the shiny black!
POM: Yeh, fantastic, nice haircut.
CLAUDE: Ah, You have learned also! You’ve learned Sarcasm!
POM: No, I’m just really stupid.
CLAUDE: Or really ARROGANT! Stupid midgets
never learn.
POM: ?
POM: Where’s CRY-AN gone?
CLAUDE: probably in the library (or next
issue)
POM: And the library is down here?
CLAUDE: yup.
POM: Oh my god! We’re being chased by three really long lines!
CLAUDE: They’re speed lines kid; you gotta learn this stuff when
you’re the main character.
CAPTION: Ctd.
Part 6:
POM: Could… Could it be… CRY-AN?
CLAUDE(off panel): No, it’s a girl in disguise.
CRY-AN: Political people are so stupid. (Buy y drugs)
YEAR 7 INNOCENT KID: ooooooh…
CRY-AN: Oh my GOD! Claude and the infamous Pom are coming! I need a
hat! And a coat! And eyes that don’t cross when I think!
POM: Could… Could it be… CRY-AN? (he looks kinda stupid)
CRY-AN: Yes it is I… (Who ever told me wearing a hat over my
face is cool, dies when this is over
POM: Hah-Ha! A blank panel that has no significance to the story, and
nor is it funny!
W.O.S.: Why aren’t the wise old sages in this?
CLAUDE: Why do I have to be like this?
POM: Now, come, on the journey of a lifetime! To be in the ULTIMATE
Pom-millions scandal!
CRY-AN: What IS the scandal?
POM: Why, it’s counterfeiting MILLIONS! Of course! Making millions… And
selling them at low low prices! (not me)
SAGES: ?
CLAUDE: I think I’m gonna be sick…
POM: Hey, Hey!
Part 7:
POM: Y’know if this was a comic, I’d get real bored right
now.
W.O.S.: Yeh, but what kind of reject would draw about you.
POM: ?
CLAUDE: Hah! Yeah, The writer would be such a fool! (Probably a midget…)
POM: YEAH! He’d walk like this; Abugga Boo! Hoodly Froodle Frix!
Ganga Doy!
N.S.W.O.S: Yeah, Like; Que ban Mithle Cwisis!
W.O.S.: No, more like Ex2yª gangle flimp! Oquis Duh duh duuh!
POM: Yeah! And he’d probably do loads of pointless zoom-ins on
me ‘coz I look sooo good!
CLAUDE: Yeah. Probably. (Vain little bugger)
POM: But if this was a comic strip, this would be a pointless strip!
We haven’t done anything!
CRY-AN: Yeah. We need to be more inconspicuous. We have to get rid
of a big member of the group
[Note in title reads: The issue when the title is in the wrong place!]
POM: I vote Sean! (Wise old Sage)
W.O.S.: I vote the DEAD pigeon!
CAPTION: Who will it be, Sean... or the pigeon? Cont.
POM: He’s not DEAD Phatass!
W.O.S.: Phatass is Robbie, I’m Sean Dumb ass!
Part 8:
CAPTION: Who will it be, Sean... or the pigeon? (Déjà vu…)
W.O.S. + POM: Grrrr...
POM: I rule this comic! Anger me and you will awaken my terrible rage,
my deformed Eye, and a fearsome background!
POM: Also, I can edit your every move!
W.O.S.: I’m a stupid fat weirdo who deserves to die.
(WISE OLD SAGE shot in the head)
W.O.S.: Ow.
CRY-AN: Jesus Christ!
POM: That sorted the problem.
POM: Alright, if anyone tries to mutiny, they die! Okay?
[Note: Title caption reads “Special edition! It’s slightly
off colour!”]
[Note: This page was drawn in blue pen]
POM: Pointless panel No.2! How many will there be?
N.S.W.O.S.: But but but…!
POM: No buts!
POM: We got enough porn in this school as it is!
CAPTION: Will Pom resist from making more rubbish jokes? How many more
Pointless panels will there be? Will they survive the ultra small space
they have in this panel?
POM: Ow…
CLAUDE: If anyone should be in charge of Porn, it should be me.
[Note: That was Claude’s original response to seeing this page.]
Part 9:
This page is an interlude
[Note: Annotation reads “everybody’s joined the Owen Kennedy
suit” This actually makes no sense at all other than Owen used
to walk around with Crossed arms all the time (according to Pom)]
POM: Hypnosis Show! Now on!
[Note: annotation reads, “He’s leaning forwards” *Pom
screwed up this piccie]
POM: I will make this Roosta act like a penguin!
POM: Fall asleep!
SFX: Smack!
JOEY: ?
JOEY thinks: How the heck do you say “?” in real life?
MATT: !
MATT thinks: likewise with “!”! Hey! How can I read your
mind?
[Note: CAPTION in explosion bubble reads: And Now a break in the Pom
millions scandal, A Matty and Joey strip. One strip off. We have
NO idea whether “One strip off” is the correct translation]
POM: Pointless No. NOT INCLUDED! Don’t count this one!
JOEY: HA! I get half a panel to fill with pointless scribblings in
a vain attempt to make you laugh
MATT: Hee Hee! You’ve wasted you’re half! I’m not
gonna do that! Huh?
POM: When you wake up, you will be a penguin
(Pom clicks his fingers this could never happen given his anatomical
structure)
[Annotation reads “Plane”]
(Penguin and Pom look at Plane, starting to tip backwards)
[Annotation reads “Plane”]
SFX: Thud (2x)
(Pom and Penguin fall over, a common trait of penguins that follow
planes flying overhead, by tilting, ending in TOPPLATION)
MATT: Hey! That IS a penguin!
DANNY (?!): My Penguin
MATT: Hey! Where’s my wallet?!
POM(Running away): Hee hee!
Part 10:
The gang are riding the car
ROBBIE: Grr…
POM: No..! NOOOO!
ROBBIE throws a punch, Pom is too short to be hit
POM jumps on Robbie
POM: C’mon Horsie! Jump the fence!
POM thinks: Hmmm…. It’s pied Piper time! Where’s
the pies
POM whistles a tune while dangling a pie in front of Rob who is suddenly
ecstatic (Lookit his little face)
POM spins round. Rob chases the pie. This screws up his body
ROBBIE limbs displaced: Bah! Foiled again!
POM: Easy as P… Okay I wont sink that low.
Part 11:
CAPTION: the gang decide to go find Daniel the cellist, so he can make
a millions machine.
CELLO: ANOTHER BEER!
PEOPLE: Hee hee!
OTHER PEOPLE: He’s cool!
DANIEL: I play that cello!
CELLO: HEY! I play my own strings!
Daniel plays cello
CELLO: Oh god this is embarrassing…
DANIEL: Hyuck!
POM: Pointless panel No. 3! Mahoney!
DANIEL: hyuck 4ªxy10!
[Note: in title box is squish from old game he sez: “ooooh…”]
DANIEL: hyuck!
[Note: Annotation read “Owen K. As a Cat”]
OWEN: Sigh… The current economic/ Political situation is rather
difficult (T.A.T)
POM: HEY, DANIEL!
Everything is set on fire cos Pom rules the comic
DANIEL: Ahhh!
OWEN: Yawn…
POM: Ow, my eye hurts
[Note: Annotation reads “Snap” as the dead pigeon’s
leash breaks. Pom realises now the pigeon’s gone, W.O.S. (Sean)
should come back.]
POM: Oh well, I’d better get Sean Back!
[Note: Annotation reads “Pigeon falling down pit”]
Part 12:
The gang are climbing a mountain to build the millions machine at the
top
DANIEL in sack: Hyuck!
POM: Watch out for the abominable Joe(y)man!
CAPTION: Pom and Co. order Daniel to build a millions making machine,
but…
POM: Oh my God! Robbie’s got eviller.
POM sees a button: What’s this?
He presses Button
BEEP
SFX: Kaboom!
ROBBIE: Ow!
POM: What the?!
ROY: Roar!
ROBBIE: Oh my God!
ROBBIE: Help!
He runs off
POM: Roy! I’ve hired you to be my bodyguard!
ROY: Groovy…
Part 13:
CAPTION: Daniel has made the machine and Pom tries it out.
POM: A Million!
SFX: pop!
POM: Hmmm…
POM: Delish!
POM: millions!
CAPTION: 20 mins. later
POM: Who the Fxxx are you?
COUNTERFEIT OFFICER: I’m the counterfeit officer. You’re
selling illegal millions.
POM: Let’s get out of here!
They dash away on the “car”
C.O. in car: What the hell is that?
Roy is in the car’s path.
SFX: Smash! Kaboom! Crunch!
The car crashes. Roy explodes.
[Note: Roy is screwed in this panel, because he is exploded and Pom
drew him wrong, so he scribbled over it before realising he couldn’t
rub out pen.]
Helicopter appears
POM: A Helicopter!
CLAUDE: Worse! A BADLY DRAWN helicopter!
Part 14:
CAPTION: Pom, Claude and Co. are being attacked by a helicopter…
POM: Oh My God! There’s only one thing to do!
Pom performs a series of movements to correspond with a videogame cheat.
He gets loads of weapons with which he destroys the helicopter.
He performs another cheat to skip the level and win “the game”
THE END
POM: By Buy!
Part 15: RETRO POM
A preview for the next Pom saga, lost in the sands of time
Part 16: EPILOGUE
by CLAUDE
CLAUDE: Damn kids. Stoopid Millions. I’m just glad it’s
all over…
Claude looks down at the title below.
CLAUDE: What the?! EPILOGUE?!
CLAUDE: GAAAAAAAAAAH! MILLIONS!
CLAUDE: HELP!
[Note in title reads “Guest art by Sensei Claude”]
[Note: Claude’s Signature reveals year of the Pom-Millions Scandal’s
production, as 2002]
CLAUDE: AAAAAH!
CLAUDE: >Gurgle<
Claude wakes up
CLAUDE: AAAAAAAAH NO!
CLAUDE: Oh thank God! It was all a dream!
POM: Claude! We’ve all got MILLIONS For breakfast!
CLAUDE: Whoa! Surreal! …What are you doing in my room?
CAPTION: The truth is, It never ends… |
